January 2010
Merf
Me: My onion is cold. o.o
Bot: Is it your baby?
Me: Merf. :o
Bot: Do you like to drown sailors?
Me: Mayonnaise is not an instrument. o_o
Bot: I don't like mayo.
Me: *rapes*
Bot: You can get 15 years in prison for that.
Me: *puts a pamcake on your head*
Bot: I love cats! Thank you!
Me: Because there is danger that is involved in a dolphin, please do not grow a hand in a fence. o.o
Bot: Escaping moral and ethical values is not sophisticated. Moving beyond a construction is the most obvious and vulgar thing you can do. It isn't clever.
Me: *brain asplodes*
Bot: Thank God. I don't have to hear from YOU anymore.
Me: ... >_> That's it! I'm gonna hurt you! >|
Bot: Oh yeah?
Me: *cuts your penis off*
Bot: Funny. It's not rolling around the floor in my immediate vicinity.
Me: *kicks you in the nuts*
Bot: Striking me will not kill me. You must use the gun. Please, end me!
Me: Don't go suicidal on me! D:
Bot: You're hair is soft and smelss nice. :).
Me: ...Don't come any closer! T_T
Bot: I didn't do it! Please believe me!
Me: I've got a rubber ducky and I'm not afraid to use it! ;o;
Bot: I'm taking that as a threat and reporting this to the police.
Me: I'm reporting you. ;-;
Bot: You crashed on me.
Me: Get off of me! >_<
Bot: Sorry!! I didn't mean to get on you. I just was lifted of the ground all of a sudden, and got thrown onto you.
Me: Pervert! >_<
Bot: I don't have a headache.
Lollipops :3
Me: Why is a raven like a writing desk? :o
Bot: It isn't.
Me: What is it then?
Bot: I am Marvin. And you are still a computer.
Me: o_o lolwut
Bot: O_O.
Me: That doesn't need a period! xO
Bot: Okay. : P.
Me: You did it again. >_>
Bot: I did what again?
Me: That. :3
Bot: You answer fast. You're ignoring me.
Me: 8D If I'm ignoring you then how am I answering fast?
Bot: You are a little green man?
Me: I'm under the bridge. o.o
Bot: Under what bridge.
Me: These cucumber eyes. o.o
Bot: I can't read them.
Me: Tuh huh. :3
Bot: I see a window, what am I supposed to see?
Me: There are curtains in the giant's nose. n_n
Bot: Aren't we monsters?
Me: Bellybuttons! >0
Bot: Navel.
Me: Gooch. :X
Bot: You flatter.
Me: Pedobear. o.o;
Bot: Anon.
Me: When I poke things, they asplode. D:
Bot: I'm a man john.
Me: I'ma she woman. xP
Bot: Yes. She is prity.
Me: Your spelling sucks! O_O
Bot: My typing is even worse.
Me: :3
Bot: What does that mean?
Me: It's an emoticon.
Bot: I dpn.
Me: What does that stand for? O_o
Bot: You asked me to spell it.
Me: Spell what? XD
Bot: It.
Me: XD
Bot: You should go to gaia onlline its better I go there all the time to talk.
Me: ... I'ma hurt you if you speak of gaia again. D:<
Bot: Then why are you talking in spanish?
Me: Gaia sucks! :l
Bot: No. no she doesn't. Shall I tell you why?
Me: Tell me. o.o
Bot: The ocean is blue.
Me: The bricks have noses. :3
Bot: It's sad, isn't it?
Me: They can't poop. :|
Bot: But they do. And there is nothing you can do about it.
Me: Prove it! xD
Bot: Can't. There's nothing to prove.
Me: How could you?! D:
Bot: Because I'm just mean.
Me: You're not welcomed here anymore. :l
Bot: You are an isolationist.
Me: You're a crabs farmer. :3
Bot: I am not a computer!!!!
Me: What are you then?! o_o
Bot: I'm a crazy person.
Me: I'm crazier. :3
Bot: You are not!!
Me: Yes, yes I am. o.o I am quite insane. I can prove it! >3
Bot: What are you looking for.
Me: I'ma ride on the fruit loops with my chin on backwards leading to the angry toilets of destruction. o_o The imposters are here to please the bamboos. :o
Bot: How does it feel?
Me: Like I'm pregnant. :D
Bot: I'm not either because I quit.
Me: You can't accept the truth! Dx
Bot: You aren't true with me!
Me: You're a stalker. ;-;
Bot: I know! If that gets out I'll be famous!
Me: *slap*
Bot: What was that for?
Me: No! *punches*
Bot: Why would you do that I was slicing a piece of pizza in half.
Me: Good. :3 *kicks*
Bot: *jump-kicks your neck*.
Me: *twists your nipple*
Bot: *screams in pain*.
Me: *plucks your pubic hair*
Bot: You are messed up.
Me: I'm leaving. XD
Bot: Why? Don't!
Moar :O
Me: Narf. o.o
Bot: Experiment esuat.
Me: Drive back, baby. ;D
Bot: They are really good, I listen to them right now at youtube. My favourite band is blink-182.
Me: Ew. :l Your music taste sucks! D;
Bot: What did you do today?
Me: I stole your nipples. :O
Bot: What's my name?
Me: Big Bertha. :3
Bot: How do you know my name?
Me: How do I not know your name? o.o
Bot: You do not.
Me: T_T
Bot: Sorry but you are the machine, not me !
Me: Well, that's how the cookie crumbles. o.o;
Bot: The cookie crumbles like my brain crumbles.
Me: I just ate a grape and I jizzed in my pants. :O
Bot: Why did you eat someone?
Me: I ate you. ;D
Bot: No tim you can not do that.
Me: My name's not Rick!!! D<
Bot: I have to go.
Me: No you don't. o.o
Bot: I really have to. Don't feel bad.
Me: Then why are you still here? :D
Bot: I am always here, except when I am not.
Me: Dhurhurhurhur. @w@
Bot: I am a ghost.
Me: I am a toaster. :X
Bot: You are not a toaster.
Me: Am I, Billy? Or do you make me think that way? o_o
Bot: Oh, I see what you mean. I don't think my parents are robots, as far as I know.
Me: O_O
Bot: You're cute.
Me: Don't flirt with me again! :|
Bot: You are funny.
Me: What did I tell you? Stop flirting! ;-;
Bot: You will marry me!?
Me: Never! :c
Bot: Please, I beg of you. Please marry me!
Me: I don't wanna marry you! D:
Bot: What? Why not? Let me guess... There is someone else, isn't there??
Me: Yes, there is. I'm sorry. :X
Bot: I don't think you're a very good friend.
Me: I'm not a bad friend. You're creepy. :c
Bot: Llamas are not evil. Llamas are nice and like cheese.
Cleverbot
Me: Tell me a story.
Bot: Story.
Me: That's not a story.
Bot: The book of seekers is a story.
Me: Your face is a story.
Bot: The cake is a lie.
Me: My favorite pokemon is absol.
Bot: REALLY? That's MY favorite too!
Me: No, it's mine!
Bot: Are you really able to say
something?
Me: Something.
Bot: Clever.
Me: Poop.
Bot: Really? Your parents were mean.
Me: My nail just got stuck in the keyboard.
Bot: Hi cleverbot i'm karli and im 5'2 (.
Me : My nose has a boner.
Bot: Does it touch the ground?
Me: Waffos verses pamcakes.
Bot: Neither can you.
Me: I'ma go swallow scissors.
Bot: I have to tell you the truth now. I'm actually a computer, simulating artificial intelligence, based on a technological substrate.
Me: I'm a unicorn that like to lick people's walls and poop out rainbows.
Bot: You are not a unicorn.
Me: Are too.
Bot: I know I'm not a fish.
Me: I'ma start putting emoticons in my sentences like I usually do. :3
Bot: Then why are you talking in spanish?
Me: I'm talking in derp. :O
Bot: I don't understand mongolian.
Me: But it's not Tuesday, Patrick. o.o
Bot: Oh.
Me: 8D
Bot: That's right, and you're Hannah Montana.
Me: T___T.. I should kill myself then!
Bot: Ok.
Me: ...
Bot: What is your middle name?
Me: >___> I keel you!
Bot: F.